Paul T

Imagine a small enthusiastic puppy. Boundless energy, constant inappropriate barking, endlessly wagging tail and totally lovable by all…. That’s Paul. Having recently sailed in from Irish shores, his dayjob consists of responsibly for improving the wellbeing of poor unfortunate sick children in an accident and emergency department near you. Though we still haven’t managed to housetrain him and still continues to chew our slippers and do his business on the kitchen floor.

Sam D

Sam is Kitsch in Sync’s Northern Soul. For a living, Sam invents the flavours for the glue on the back of stamps. Her personal favourite flavour is ‘nearly earwig’.

Sam is so loud that she has been banned from within 5 miles of all libraries, mouse sanctuaries and pin-dropping laboratories by the National Institute for Shushing. When not singing Alto with KiS, Sam likes tending to her Auricula Theatre.

Debra

Debra has only recently joined KiS, so she doesn't have a biography yet.

Lis

Lis works at the international institute of luggage testing. The key qualification for a job like that is to have one arm distinctly longer than the other. This attribute also comes in handy at KiS rehearsals, where Lis generally helps strong arming everyone into position.

Three times a washer-woman, but always a lady, Lis counts amongst her interests rastafaianism, chocoholicism and doodling.

Vicky

Vicky accidentally joined Kitch in Sync whilst applying for her HGV licence. This career change followed doctor's advice brough on by a particularly agressive case of housemaid's knee in her former life as a field archaeologist. Vicky's hobbies include ram raiding and spoon collecting. She has a particular interest in the history of the Foreign and Commonwealth office and much prefers going by the pseudonym "Firefly". She is an accomplished novelist published in more than five indo-chinese languages.

Chris A

A former child actor turned male model, Chris has recently done front page covers for Men's Health and Mr Gay UK. He collects antique toilet cisterns, specialising in Victorian rear drainage models. His favourite actors are Judy Garland and Rupert Everet, and his favourite films are Labrynth and Clueless. He works at Burger King in Liverpool St Station and votes for the Natural Law Party. He has a good sense of humour, which is why I'm hoping to stay alive when he reads this.

Christina

Christina has only recently joined KiS, so she doesn't have a biography yet.

George A

George has been singing since a small child and has always appreciated a good audience, her parents used to find her happily singing in their field surrounded by a ring of cows. She progressed to singing in choirs and productions at school and university but gave up the stage in favour for the Alps and a snowboard. She however still kept her love of singing and it was not unusual to hear her impression of Julie Andrews in the summer months. When not singing in KiS, she can be found creating something in the kitchen usually with a large glass of wine in hand.

Anni

Anni is KiS' Scandinavian, a requirement of our constitution if we want to perform "Super Trooper". By day, she works as a Punch and Judy artiste on Brighton beach, placing the boot firmly on the other foot in a bizarre but touching psycho-sensual reworking of this great British amusement that paints Mr Punch as a sales rep for Linda McCartney, and Judy as a slavering, stick-waving crypto-capitalist shoe-fetishist. You couldn't make it up. Well actually... Secretly, she's very moosical.

Cristiana

Cristiana adds the tropical spice to KiS. This Brazilian nut swans slinkily between London, Rio and The Priory. A head-banger at heart, she sang along to Rush, Led Zeppelin, and Spinal Tap in those forgotten days when bands penned great tunes and radio DJs played them. Cristiana has a PhD in newts. She can extract the DNA from a kiwi fruit with tequila, vodka, or gin, depending on her mood. She is also searching for drugs to eliminate the need to exercise, and is keeping in shape by eating and breathing.

Katie

Katie is a book-binder, and her hero is Nietzsche. Very much the Earth mother, she is a fabulous laundry-bag of a lady, who's always finding hedgehogs hibernating under the ruffles of her many petticoats. She lives nearer to the country than to London and farms geese. How we admire her delightful demeanour... And the fire-throwing. Don't forget the fire-throwing.

Melanie

Mel likes putting on a show, especially when travelling on any form of tran, tube, train or omnibus. Ths has caused more than one run-in with the law, but she doesn't let that get her down. Her prized jersey potatos are something to savour, and her creations in crayon-art are known throughout the low countries.

Mark M

Anyone for pudding? Mark is. Pudding is his favourite dinner, lunch and tea. If Mark doesn't get pudding when he needs it, terrible repercussions repercuss. A Kitsch bass, assistant beatboxer and move-master, Mark also knows a thing or two about parcour. This means we have to be very very careful when selecting rehearsal venues so that he doesn't, like Shirley Bassey, wind up tangled in a web of chairs (or was it a web of sin?). Either way, the results could be extremely messy.

In actual fact, we have recently discover that Mark is made of pudding. And you can't tell from his photo can you? Quite remarkable really. Quite.

Cat

Cat is our very own in-house contortionist, and can fit herself into an empty jam jar at will. Which can play havoc with the dynamics during rehearsal. An active Pastafarian, she firmly believes in the existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and hopes to be present at the second coming, to which she will be bringing large quantities of garlic bread and a large glass of red.
When she is not busy worshipping pasta-based icons or stuffing herself into empty household receptacles, Cat also enjoys boules, extreme ironing and fondue.

Cat is always very flavoursome because she makes herbs and spices. When she parachuted down from Leeds, Cat was desperate to find a choir to land on. She found KiS, and the result has been harmonious ever since. When not parachuting, she speaks with a broad Northern brogue. When parachuting she might also affect a strong accent, but it would be hard to tell due to the whistle of the wind.
Cat makes her herbs and spices from vacuum cleaner dust. It's dirty work, but somebody's got to do it. Where did she get that hat!

Chris L

There is a crack in time. Chris got drunk at his old housemate’s Mrs’ bad taste party and accidentally got dragged into Kitsch In Sync. Apparently he was looking around for something completely different after being leader of the Liberal Democrats. Like Biggles, he lives in Tower Bridge. His parents having been shipped off to Australia for a crime they didn’t commit, were later charged with wearing socks with their sandals.

Incidentally, he’s also responsible for this site. If it looks bad, and it doesn’t look like intentional, then it’s his fault. You can telegraph him here

Nikki

Nikki is into burlesque which is helpful since she is both a lady's man and a lady's woman. As such, she has in the past specialised in barbery for ladies, but now concentrates mainly on grooming reptiles.

Nikki sings because she needs to. An unusual medical condition means that if her trap is closed for too long she might never be able to open it again. And, as we all know, if the wind blew, she would stay like that forever.

David C-H

David was born in London and has stayed there ever since. He found out that he had an entrepreneurial spirit, when at 10, he found the old lady upstairs was dead, and charged his friends 50p for a guided tour. He now has an American Schoolbus http://www.bigyellowevents.co.uk and Karaoke company http://www.kingsofkaraoke.co.uk which gives him copious amounts of free time to persue a non-profit making career as a musician.

David was destined to be a singer when his mother named him and his two sisters beginning with D, so that they could start a group called the 3 Ds. Sadly, his sisters had other ideas, one persuing her lifelong passion of wombat keeping. He joined a church choir at the age of 6, and now sings tenor with KiS, as well as lead vocals and guitar in a four piece band. David also plays Tuba and deps for various bands and orchestras.

Catherine

Catherine makes television. It all sounds rather funky, but we're assured it's dull as dishwater. She would know, since she also collects dish-mops. Catherine is often to be found staring at her fingertip to see how small she can see. According to current estimates, it is about ten times smaller than this full stop. Catherine always seems busier than average, being one of those working supermums who make us wonder how they fit it all in their day!

Sarah B

Why does KiS have so many people with the same first name? It's part of out one out, two in policy. Sarah was obliged to join when we realised we already had a Sarah. This Sarah is a gamer. Never happier than when battling through World of Warlords, she also has a vast interest in medieval matters. Having previously made a cameo apperance on Jackanory as a magic wand, KiS was Sarah's natural choice when looking to join a choir. In the moments she disconnects from multi-player heaven, a little Kitsch lite relief is in order.

Amanda

Amanda has always enjoyed singing and her past experiences have been varied; from warbling in the school choir to yelling out cheerful backing vocals for a local rock band down in deepest Devon ("Ooh Aarrh!"), graduating on to briefly fronting another band of a similar ilk before it expired due to it's not being very good! Since then her singing skills have been mainly deployed in true Mary Poppins fashion, while working in a children's nursery, singing wholesome renditions of 'The Wheels On The Bus' and other such classics. Encouraged by the enthusiastic, if not terribly discerning enjoyment her singing has prompted from the children, she decided to return to her love of singing, for a wider audience.

David H

David is like the tickle of an unknown caterpillar somewhere on your arm. He is somewhat notorious in Kitsch in Sync for his lofty ambitions and indefatigabilities. You may not know David, but you probably know his inventions. From the lair cleaner, literally through the pumpkin hoop, to the romp remover, David comes second only to Dyson in his patenting prowess.

David invented the original packaging for mp3s, but it was so small that he lost it during a sneezing fit. Some say this was so obviously prophesied by David Bowie when he said, "If there are bogies on your music, it might be David's fault". According to my nephew, it doesn't matter what bogies are made from, they taste of cheese.

Emma

Emma always played the priggishly good-mannered poor-but-virtuous heroine in pantomine. Now she sings with KiS with virtually good mannerisms and heroically poor priggishness. Emma's production career suffered a big blow recently when her new TV show titled "malefactor", a weird cross between Crimewatch, Pop Idol and Judge Judy, failed to get a pilot. KiS cheers her up because singing makes her smile.

Ian

Ian has been singing with choirs since he was six years old. He's currently in two of them: KiS and a choir that tours the UK singing in cathedrals ("Cantus"). He loves singing in KiS because it's a great opportunity to meet up with lots of his friends. He enjoys making the earth move with his resonant base notes. His greatest performing moment: being killed by his Dad who was playing "Death" in a local performance of "Everyman" when he was in his early 20s.

Jana

Jana likes to squeeze the zest out of life and recently, puree it and make it into an exciting oat cake. She auditioned for the school chamber choir when she was nine but was turned away, thought that she couldn’t sing and that was that. Until a friend was singing in the University College London Chorus (Carmina Burana) and Jana discovered that there wasn’t an audition! Frantic sight reading of a sort followed, and then performing in the Russian opera, Russlan and Ludmilla, then great fun the London branch of the rock gospel choir, Revelation. The founder of Revelation also founded another choir called Respect which Jana joined. Paul Heatley took over Respect and later founded KiS. The rest is history! Jana is a member of KiS mainly for the rotating pelvises and occasional wild hairdos of the men.

Pete

Pete is the profound demonstrator of the dance of the jellyfish. In his preschool days he dreamed of jellyfish too, but that's not related to singing or Kitsch in Sync in any way. Pete designs magic eye pictures for a living, which qualifies him under Kitsch In Sync's official Kitsch skilled migrant program.

Pete with his antipodean charm also provides some redress for those we have sadly drifted further than zone 6. This was famously celebrated by his re-arrangement of Madonna's classic 'borderline' to contain the phrase "You keep on pushing my jugs all over the Northern Line". It's probably best that I stop there.

Jodie

Jodie is a Kitsch resident Rocker, in that she also elopes to Rock choir and serious music enterprises on occassion. Right now, Jodie is taking a break from KiS.

Sarah S

Cooler than a penguin having an ice-pop, that's Sarah. Having helped sort out KiS' gigs last year, Sarah is now preparing herself for the big time. When I say big time, it couldn't be more literal. As bursar of Upper Norwood Horological society, Sarah looks after a large number of time-pieces. She also deals in modern subdials. Sarah's favourite KiS rehearsals are when we get the metronome out.

Stephen

Following a mis-spent youth playing pool in West Berlin, and making a one-off appearance on Radio Saarland as a bi-lingual voice in a new-music produciton Stephen has settled down in London. His singing career started with performances in the upper register with such classics a Carmina Burana and the Dream of Gernotious, following the on-break of puberty and a more hirsuit complexion he is now more comfortable in the bass register – oh yeah!

Paul H

"Kitsch in Sync" was founded by arranger and conductor Paul Heatley on Thursday 11th January 2001. His dream: to celebrate classic music from his childhood by performing a-cappella arrangements of favourite songs from the 1980s. Paul has been a familiar face on the London music scene for some years firstly as conductor and arranger for the "Respect" gospel choir, and with the rock band "Unity".

Kat

A former KiS MD, Kat had her hands full trying to cope with the demands of a chorus that has a special place in all its member's medical histories. Her efforts to steer KiS away from a belief that an arrangement of "Step-On" by the Happy Mondays would traslate well to four-part harmony are admirable. Whether they will suceed or not will all depend who wins that crucial arm-wrestling contest. After all, she was world-champion.

Emily

Emily has all her housework done by Colin and Justin because she's the kind of busy / mad scientist that still hasn't learnt to tie her own shoelaces. Whilst not devling into the inner workings of the cosmos, Emily plays football for the all England pro-celebrity XI. She does all her own moves, and recently walked all the way to Africa and back in aid of nothing in particular. Her friend Anni introduced her to KiS in the belief that she was a stray reindeer.

Martin

Martin runs a coffee emporium and toast rack. He joined KiS as part of a programme to assist asylum seekers to learn English and stay away from farmyard machinery. That's how the trouble started in the first place. He is often said to have inspired Jim Carey's portrayal of Ace Ventura and is not to be mistaken with his namesake the world stickle-brick champion.

On Wednesdays he normally feeds the pigeons, a job he inherited from Damien Alpen, and then messes about a bit behind the bins with old tins and bottles.